Lamenting

Don't get me wrong, I love my life. I love living on our own schedule. I love being able to stay home with my child, even if sometimes financially it's not so nice. I love my husband and how far we've come together.

But sometimes I miss things.

I miss being with my husband for long stretches of time, uninterrupted.
I miss not caring what I eat because my teenage body's metabolism would take care of it for me.
I miss coffee.
I miss not being asked a million questions all day long.
I miss being taken care of.
I miss having that careless feeling, that I can do (almost) anything I wanted.
I miss behaving animals.

I could list a million other things I miss, but I won't. I've had my pity party. Now is the time to just look at what I would miss if I didn't have the life I have.

I would miss my son's hugs, no matter how stifling they can get.
I would miss rocking him to sleep just because he/I need it.
I would miss that getting-away-with-something feeling when my husband and I can steal a few moments just for us.
I would miss knowing that I take very good care of myself, because others depend on me.

I have to remember these things when that overwhelming feeling comes creeping back into my head. I have to have my moment, then carry on for the sake of those around me. I will be strong for my family, and know that one day tripping over toys will end, and how much I'll miss these days.

I'm lamenting for what I once had and lost, and what I have now and will lose.